I did it….! (sort of)

>July 3rd
Particledots Studio
09:20am

Well, I did it! I was able to do at least one song per day during the month of June. I may not have achieved all I set out to do with this (eg record a track using every single instrument I have – maybe that will follow still?) but I did record a new piece of music every day.

As the days wore on, it certainly got harder, particularly from June 21st onwards.

Why did I do this?

I think partially as the theme of this blog suggests, it was an effort to re-energise my creative flow, to ‘get me going’ again, to try to make me work in different ways with music – different approaches, to produce a lot of ideas for further development in the future. On reflection and from the vantage point of early July,I think there were some other things that emerged too as to ‘why’ which I wasn’t expecting. As the days wore on in June, things became increasingly busy with another creative project that was not even on my radar when i started this creative re-boot. Juggling time to prepare for that and trying to meet my own self imposed deadline for this became increasingly tricky. Also, work (my ‘real’ job) has seemed increasingly stressful over the last few weeks and work related stuff certainly was a real distraction from mid June onwards. Lets not forget the hell hole of the Phoenix temperatures in June. The heat certainly kicked in with a vengeance here since early June, and even though we all expect it and dread it, it is always shocking how energy sapping it can be.

I had a recent conversation with a counselor recently. We talked about the sense of needing to maintain some kind of control and therefore meaning within our lives whenever everything else around us is going crazy and increasingly makes less and less sense. He used the analogy of someone who was in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany, who literally had everything taken away from him bit by bit. One thing that the Nazi guards would do was to make the captives move piles of dirt back and forth one side of the camp to another, day in day out without any explanation why. A story my friend heard was that one person managed to survive this madness by creating rituals/routines during the day that were meaningless to his captors, but were very important to him. This way, he was able to devise a way of making moving piles of dirt meaningful to him

Perhaps for me, with this project, I have also simply been moving piles of dirt around? But is there any meaning beyond what I create?

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One thought on “I did it….! (sort of)

  1. >Ah Bryn – you're touching on the big question. Why are we here and what are we meant to be doing? Sorry – no answer from me. But I did hear this said once regarding the little things we do – like making the bed. "Few of the things I do are of vital importance – but it's extremely important that I do these things."Everyone has some gift – and some have many. Using them in one way or another seems to fulfill something in us. Congratulations on completing your project.

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